Based on the analysis of VCIOM research data, the author has established that the individualistic ideology popular in modern society, according to which the interests of each family member are more important than the interests of the whole family, destroys the social institution of the family. In the past, almost every family had a head who was responsible for the well-being of all its members. Most modern families don’t have a head at all. In traditional families, spouses received help from their parents and helped them if necessary. Nowadays, most married couples refuse this help because they do not want to depend on their parents and help them when their parents grow old. Many people do not want to depend on their spouses, and also do not want to take care of children. However, only single people can be completely independent of family members and relatives. Such extreme individualism is no different from selfishness. This leads to a decrease in the number of marriages, an increase in the number of divorces, a decrease in the birth rate and a natural decline in the population – depopulation. All the factors influencing the family demographic crisis continue to operate. The crisis will continue until family and demographic policy leads to the fact that most Russian families will be based on a solid legal marriage, have at least three children and raise them so that they do not become selfish.